So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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