I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize