i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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