Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
