Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
