I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
