Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
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