Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
