So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
