At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
