either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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