dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
