i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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