remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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