I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
