I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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