You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Girls should come with a carfax report
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize