dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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