Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
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