Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
