Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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