To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
