i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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