The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
