Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Randomize
