I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
