woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
