very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I know her cup size but not her name....
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