Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
