Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
