Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Randomize
