were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
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this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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