just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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