Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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