Don't you send me to vm
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize