I'm going to jail i love you
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
