I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
