Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you win again, gameday.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You have to summon your inner elephant
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
