i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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