she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
