The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Randomize
