just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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