i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You had me at "let me see your balls"
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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