Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
