Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Two words: nipple clamps
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