You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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