im about as happy as oj after his trial
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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