Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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