i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
