She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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