But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
