ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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