I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
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I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
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But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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