Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
