What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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