My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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