I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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