i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
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my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
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You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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