I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
