I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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