STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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