Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
