I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
No I am not eating basil off your cock
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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