Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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